Dating a guy eight years older
If he had still been a "college kid," I might have had a hard time feeling like we were equals.
And while the same life stage can seem to erase an age difference, Willy Wooten, a licensed marriage and family therapist, who has been counseling for over 30 years, encourages couples to think ahead.
I guess it was because I'd heard two or three stories of the woman being seven years older, so I'd sort of decided that was the outer limit of age difference acceptability. (And I would hit 31 a month before his next birthday.) Feeling defeated, I sat at the small wooden table in Starbucks, where I was meeting Kevin for the first time since my startling discovery. In case you're wondering, I married that guy eight months later.
I don't know why this one year made such a difference to me.
"I had surpassed him in some areas — I had been in the workforce for 12 years when we met and held leadership positions in church." I had similar concerns when I met Kevin.
From our first conversation, I could tell he was very mature for his age. Once I learned his actual age, I was concerned that he might not be ready to settle down and have a family, when I definitely was.
"God brought us together, and once we knew that, the other factors didn't really even matter. The couple still serves together in ministry and has two teenage sons.
Even though Kevin didn't have as much life experience as I did, our daily lives basically looked the same.Also consider how you get along with the person’s friends, because these people will also be part of your life.Johanna said she found it a bit awkward to connect with her boyfriend, Paul’s, friends, even though he was only three years younger. I felt removed from their age and current life stage," she says. A friend once told me that the acceptable age difference was half the older person's age plus seven."It feels like it wasn't that long ago." When Leah, a national of Singapore, first got to know Travis, who was 10 years her junior, she was attracted to him, but "I tried to tell myself it wouldn't work because of the age difference.
I fought those affections like crazy." But as an undeniable connection formed, Leah finally made a bold request: "I told the Lord, unless I hear Travis say, 'The Lord has laid it on my heart that you are to be my wife,' I will not move forward." The night before the two gave a group presentation together, they met to pray. After spending a few days trying to adjust to the fact that the handsome co-leader of my small group was seven years my junior, I had just realized that he was actually eight years younger!A question I receive often is, "How did you make the decision to date and marry a younger guy?And while we could exercise wisdom in thinking through some of the unique challenges we might face, we could also trust Him with the details. He explains that during his years at a Bible college, he gave his desire for a spouse over to the Lord and asked Him to determine who his wife would be.