Dating advice from a
A picture-less ad says: “I am so ugly I didn’t want to risk a photo,” “I am married,” or “I am on the run from Broadmoor.” Everyone who likes your main photo will want to see more. Whether you’re a man or a woman, a photo with your shirt off makes you look desperate and/or only interested in sex. This is a cruel fact of life for online dating beginners, especially men. Likewise, you won’t “keep them keen” by making them wait days for a reply. Don’t allow an email conversation to drag on for weeks without a date.Not because they can’t get enough of you, but because a single photo is not a reliable indicator of what you look like. Use photos and emails for spotting potential, but don’t start fancying the pants off a two-dimensional image. More men than women advertise on most dating sites, so the girls get the pick of the bunch. Read the profiles that get most views, and pick up tips from them. You may think you’re “connecting”, but you can’t judge chemistry unless you meet up.Having sex doesn’t make you morally corrupt, and it won’t necessarily wreck your chances of a relationship.If you’re both adults, single and you use protection, it’s your choice – but if you’d rather not, that’s your choice too. Ignore those rules about waiting three days to get in touch.Even if you are not ready to get married in your earlier 20s, mid-20s or even late-20s, you never know if this is the one.You could meet the one and date him or her for a few years and then get married when you are ready.“I asked my friend to describe me, and here’s what he wrote…” is a cop-out.
Every single encounter, every single first date, every single relationship.Say which music you like, and your favourite place to see your friends.Specific information does more than make you sound interesting – it also gives potential dates something to write to you about.See it all as experience, not as proof that you’re a loser (or that everyone else is a loser).
Learn from your bad and boring dates and try again.Most living grown-ups have a history of exes, hang-ups and maybe a nervous breakdown or two. They know that you have a past, but they don’t want to hear about it. Some online dating profiles read like shopping lists.They’re looking for someone with brown eyes, short hair, between 5’10” and 6′, from north-east Birmingham, and so on. First, they make the writer sound like a control freak. Forget that stuff about playing hard to get, expecting the man to pay, and never having sex on a first date. “I cook a mean paella and I’ll always try to make you laugh” is good, but “I have a fantastic job and no-one can understand why I’m single” is not.