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The responses to these changes are often quite different from one gender to the other, in many ways female submissives tend to be actively seeking the ‘strength’ of the traditional male (even in fem/fem relationships), while many male submissives seem to be actively desiring to shed that role and find wholeness along pathways of previously unexplored aspects of their personalities and inner self.
We are all a product of thousands of years of evolution, experimentation, mutation and success.
Reconciling the ‘image’ to the ‘reality’ takes time, hard work and usually years of effort and compromise. Being able to openly experience these moments without censure or judgment is also part of being whole.
Developing or embracing the ‘whole’ of yourself is not something that will occur ten minutes after you find your first D/s chatroom conversation or the day after your first real life experience. Often a new Dominant will believe that ‘showing’ these ‘weaknesses’ will make others lose respect for them. The removal of response to ‘perceived shame’ is a demonstration of strength.
If you look closely at our own societies you will see evidence of this type of behavior in virtually every culture.
With change comes a sense of insecurity and a feeling of internal restlessness.