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But if you're going to lock it down and marry your Oriental princess, you must know one final thing: in Chinese wedding traditions, the groom pays for the wedding.

So, as her white, Jewish (80% of the time), totally-secure-and-normal boyfriend, you better be prepared for when your girlfriend mistakes "soup or salad" for "super salad." And since Asians have eyes like gravy boats, her crying jags are bound to extend late into the night.

STEP FOUR: Locking it Down If you've made it this far, then you know all the dirty secrets of dating an Asian girl.

You know we pretend to love drinking, even though we turn into full-blown red-faced injuns when we do.

Smith is a sneaker enthusiast, modern hip-hop anthropologist, and Blue Ribbon Sushi devourer.

She and Humphries, 26, got engaged last month after about six months of dating.

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" STEP TWO: The First Date It doesn't matter where you take an Asian girl on a first date as long as you stick to the following topics of conversation: food, fashion, and making fun of other Asians ("So, your friends just stayed in and did math problems?

However, no matter what you do, don't step on the yellow-fever land mine that is acknowledging the Asian fetish.



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