Physical attractiveness in dating
Though we encourage our e Harmony members to first focus on their matches’ inner qualities, we understand that physical attraction is important, and, at some point, members will use this quality to evaluate matches as they search for their special someone.But some members and non-members still believe physical appearance is the most or one of the most important qualities to consider when evaluating someone’s partner potential.But while these sources tell women all kinds of strategies for being approachable or meeting new people, none of them address the most important matter: appearance.A number of the articles I've read have promising titles or sub-titles, but they qualify the initial admonition to "look good" with so many caveats and clarifications that by the end they've essentially told the reader to "be herself" - which is nothing more than a waste of her time.So if you’re someone who’s average or below on the attractiveness scale but highly value a potential partner’s attractiveness, are you open to someone in the same general attractiveness range as you?Or does this preference mean you are only interested in someone who rates high on the attractiveness scale and brings much more to the looks department than you do?
This is understandable, because if female beauty were not controllable, telling a woman she could attract more men if she would just improve her looks would be no more useful than suggesting a paraplegic man "just" learn how to dunk a basketball to impress women.
As I consider this approach to finding a mate, I am especially curious about those people who highly value their partner’s level of attractiveness but don’t themselves fall within the upper end of the attractiveness scale.
Though physical attractiveness is subjective, there do seem to be some general standards most people agree upon, and most couples, it seems, are within a few levels of attractiveness of each other.
Previous studies have failed to find support for the hypothesis, derived from Level of Aspiration Theory, that individuals chose to date those whose “social desirability” level is similar to their own.
In the present experiments, which were designed to test the matching hypothesis, the salience of possible rejection by the dating choice was varied.If you’re carrying around some extra pounds and don’t think it’s right to be judged negatively because of that, are you evaluating others as you want to be evaluated or making the same sort of judgments?Now, in no way do I believe that a couple can’t be happy together and have a successful relationship when one partner is quite a bit more attractive than the other.I’ve given this some thought, and come up with a few theories: 1. If someone believes they’re several levels of attractiveness higher than they actually are, they feel they’re just as attractive as the people they’re seeking. So regardless of its ultimate effectiveness, they will continue to only consider as potential partners people who are much more attractive than they.