Red flags for internet dating
Girlfriends, you know what I'm talking about: the "no-show" flakes, the chronic complainers, the promising first couple of dates that lead nowhere? Signing up for online dating can be a little like learning to surf. Fortunately, men will signal their intentions and level of interest, usually in their very first e-mail. My goal for the women I coach is to go from receiving a few dozen e-mails a month to a few hundred, at which point weeding out the unsuitable and the un-serious becomes of paramount importance.
So here are some of the most obvious online dating "flags" I suggest you use to steer clear of players and time-wasters: 1. Beware if he sends you a "wink" or a "smile" instead of a properly written e-mail.
"A date should not feel like a performance," Patrick writes in the post.
"Dinner conversation should not feel like a police interrogation under a harsh spotlight.
It's impossible to wade into the world of dating without occasionally (or, for many of us, more than occasionally) spotting some red flags.
While these little warning signs don't necessarily mean the relationship is doomed from the start or beginning to fizzle out, they do mean the two of you probably need to sit down and check in on where it's going and what each of you wants.
Yes, it's possible he's a wimp or insecure (and therefore not really robust dating material anyway).
However, there's a difference between getting something off your chest and being full-on poisoned by your own drama. If you don't feel the relationship is worth working on, then it's not worth being in.
Whether it's a blind date or it's with someone you've been speaking to for a while on dating apps, you're bound to feel a little nervous.
Treat online winks like whistles you might elicit on a busy city street.
Maybe you're inwardly flattered, but generally you ignore such attention. "Hmmmm" may be Man Code for many things (e.g., "sleeping with you might be interesting," or "I'm bored so please entertain me with witty online banter").
If you're agonising over your own behaviour, it suggests you're putting on an act, and that will be mentally damaging in the long run.